Written by Therapist Michaelah Robinson
What types of thoughts and emotions come up for you when thinking of holiday traditions and upcoming social invitations? Are there different themes when thinking of friend versus family gatherings? Perhaps you have feelings of connection and excitement, maybe thoughts of uncertainty and hesitation, or possibly a mix of conflicting thoughts and feelings. Whatever your experience, it is important to tune in with what these felt sensations hold for you – they are present for a reason and can help you to keep yourself safe, including in an emotional capacity. Tapping into safety within connection and interaction allows room for growth, healing, fun, stronger relationships, and a more authentic personal presence. Here are some ideas to consider that could help you manage self-care over the holidays.
Strive for an understanding of yourself – past and present. Who were you in the context of your family role, and who are you now? Are there things about who you are that have changed? Things that you are working on changing or hope to change in the future?
Self-acceptance. Your experience is unique, and you are the expert of your own life. Even while working toward your personal goals, consider being compassionate toward yourself and the journey you have travelled throughout your life. The internal environment (thoughts and feelings toward yourself) that you create for yourself impacts your growth.
Increase Control. You likely have more control over your situation than you used to. Whether this be through increased independence, greater life experience, broader perspective, or additional skills, you may have more options than you realize in any given moment.
What are you proud of? Qualities about yourself, or achievements you have attained. You are inherently valuable.
Therapy helps. In the context of a therapeutic relationship, it is possible to explore new ways of relating to others, and to increase your compassion for yourself and others.
Emotional Regulation. Know what emotional regulation strategies work best for you. These might include mindfulness, breathing techniques, checking in with physical sensations, listening to yourself, taking breaks from prolonged socialization or taking time for yourself before and after social interactions.
Connections. Desiring connection with others is human and normal. Genuine connection enhances teamwork and working in a team allows for increased accomplishment.
Set boundaries. Taking the time and space for you to develop and maintain your best self allows you to show up in a better way for yourself and for those you care about.
Preparation is key. Getting to know what works for you and practicing these strategies ahead of time in a calm, supportive environment will make it easier to remain true to authentic self in other situations.
Manage expectations. Work on being aware of what is within your control and what is outside of your control.
As the holidays approach, take time to reflect on your needs, emotions, and boundaries. By tuning into your feelings and practicing self-care, you can navigate the season with greater ease and connection. Stay compassionate with yourself, and embrace the growth opportunities this time of year offers.
Michaelah is currently accepting new clients.
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